I have no motivation. It’s 2:30 in the morning, and I’m sitting here on this website…I have to get up for work in five hours. I’ll get up 15 minutes before I have to go, shower quickly and show up late with wet hair. I’ll be in a shitty mood. Lunch will be the highlight of my day.

I hate my roommate. He plays DnD with gay guys and I’m jealous because he has friends to do things with.

I’ve confessed before here but nothing changes. I really hate myself and I wish I could change.

I live my life in online games. I have a girlfriend in an online game. I have never been kissed IRL. 23 year old virgin, etc. 24 soon.

WTF is wrong with me? I bought a house, a car…I have better credit than my parents and that’s no lie. But I can’t get the courage to get a date. To even talk to a girl with the pretense of JUST TALKING. I can’t talk to a girl without having some kind of reason — work related, for example. I listen to talk radio and I’m 23 years old.

I don’t even enjoy my hobbies anymore. I’m so listless I can’t be bothered to watch anime or do new things on the internet. Go ahead and laugh, yes yet another pasty white computer geek whining on the internet. I guess you think it’s all a show? Do you have any idea how confused I am? Who do I turn to? I mean…I’ve got tears in my eyes.

I guess the best I can do is resolve to change. Ever seen that movie “What About Bob”? Well I’m taking baby steps. I organized my CDs today and that’s a huge step. Tommorrow I’ll get the bills in the mail and do some laundry.

I’m surrounded by people but I don’t think I’ve ever been quite so lonely.