I went to my girlfriends house and we had a microwave dinner, just cause we didn’t want to cook or order anything. Later my stomach hurt from all that junk, and i had to take a big crap. I broke the most important rule, NEVER TAKE A CRAP AT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS HOUSE. i took my crap and all, and i was sitting there all relieved. Come to find out she ran out of toilet paper, and it was a real dirty crap. I didnt want to not wipe, and i didnt want to ask for more toilet paper (that’d be embarassing) so i looked around for magazines. All i found on top of the toilet was the bible. I figured, it being 500 pages or something, that she wouldnt miss a couple of sheets.

I’m a horrible person.