Confession

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The vending machine was broken in my dorm. If you put a dime in it, it accepts the money, but it also gives it back to you. I bought out all the candy one night and made my own vending machine out of cardboard next to the real vending machine and put the candy in it. People, noticing that the candy is all gone from the real vending machine, put their money into my (cardboard) vending machine. I’ve made thirty six bucks so far, and nobody’s suspected a thing. I feel kinda guilty though, I guess.

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I am madly in love with one of my female friends from college. We are amzingly close, and really have a deep connection with achother. We had many chances to hook up in college, but she always had her boyfriend, and I always had my fiancee back home.

I am getting married in a month to a woman that I love alot, but very much dislike at the same time. She is my compete opposite, and she drives me insane alot of the time. I have been talking much more with my friend from college lately, and we have both shared how we feel with eachother.

In my heart, I know that the marriage will probably not last long, but It’s just way too late to do something about it. I feel very lost and confused. I had originally attributed my feelings to cold feet, but I have felt this way for a very long time. My friend from college lives several states away, so at the same time, now would probably not be a good time to get involved with her, even though I desperately want to.

This is weighing heavilly on my heart. I know what I have to do, but I just can’t find the nerve to tell my fiancee that the wedding is off, so that I can be with the girl who May be the closest thing to pure love i’ve ever been touched by.

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when i was younger, i used to have a best friend who lived across the street from me. i was pretty good friends with her little sister too, so whenever my best friend wasn’t around, i’d play with her sister. i got into this thing where i’d try to have sex with her, but it wasn’t quite right because i didn’t really know what sex was. i thought sex was when two people lay next to or on top of each other, naked, and make sounds like “ahhh” and “ohhh”. so, that’s what i got my best friend’s little sister to do. one time, we did it while her mom was downstairs, and when she called us and we went downstairs, the little sis was only wearing an undershirt and her undies, so i told her mom that we were playing hide-and-seek and she got hot so she took her clothes off.

i hope to god she never told her mom the truth.

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So I’m sort of with this girl right now. I really have no interest of actually being with her, and i’m moreless just using her for some of my fixiations.

I haven’t always been like this. 2-3 years ago I would of never considered a one night stand or using a girl for my own personal satisfaction. However, I started getting used by girls I would fall madly in love with really badly. I’d feel so helpless and so much like a tool after they would tell me we were through being together. I think the reason why I am doing this is so I can finally make someone that is in love with me feel the pain that I have felt so many times…

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i had this perfect life, with a great group of friends and this one (ex)boyfriend of mine.

i gave it up.

and i have never been so happy. because for the first time, i stood up for myself.

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Ill bet Christina aguilera has a pussy that stinks like fish…she just looks that way

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i was on msnbc today and after all the news items i read about the USA i realised
that its people r all a bunch of fucked up retards
i mean seriously, no other western country has as many problems as they do. they have 2 blow up the middle east to feel good bout themselves, while at home i read about their own security agencies and govt lying to them, a whole bunch of stabbings in their schools, something about bioterrorism and just a whole bunch of random stories bout how their country sucks. really, i feel bad for them, yet we depend upon them so much
i apologise to the usa on behalf of the rest of the world. we hate u but we would never admit it.

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I wish it was my fault so that I could make you love me again. Instead, I’m going to wait while you think about it. You will probably end up leaving me. I’ll never understand why, and I’ll be very hurt, but I guess that’s alright. I’ve been talking to someone else the whole break. And I feel awful, even though I don’t owe you anything. This is your fault and I hate knowing that you are going to throw me away.

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You were right—- this would be easier if we didn’t talk to eachother for awhile. I loved you the most. The only way to forget is to hate you the most. Please go and don’t come back again like you did.

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Everything I do and everything I say is so carefully scripted before-hand in my mind that it drives me insane. When people interact with me, they are getting a show, a production, I don’t think anybody really knows the true “me”.

The sad part is, there isn’t anything to really know.