Group Hug

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Somes times i wanna punch my mothers teeth out of her big fucking mouth.
The bitch shouts like a dirty slut like shes a tuff bitch.
I could knock the whore out in one.
She better not fucking slap me again or ill kick her head in the bitch

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i think my boyfriend has been chatting with this girl we just got to know from a show. i think he likes her and has a stupid crush on her. it’s disgusting. she’s such a floozy and goes all over guys. i dont like easy girls. my boyfriend has been acting like a jerk lately. i wish i didnt love him as much.

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I’m still in love with Kristen. I spoke with her today… I speak with her most days. I drifted to sleep last night amid thoughts of her sweet lips against mine… just as the night before… and the night before that… and the night before that. I wish for only a moment you could see what I feel for you.

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There’s a girl that I like, Courtney. I met her on a mission trip. Even though I’m a year below her, we got along really well and talked a lot. She talked to me one night on the trip about her troubles while we sat on swings in a playground, but I think she just wanted to talk to me.

We had to go to a youth meeting after that, so we walked back together and all my friends and peers saw us talking, and rumors started that I liked her, which was true anyway.

But one of my friends on the trip, who was my friend for months before the trip, started hogging her and clinging to her endlessly. It annoyed me to no end, because he just lied about stuff to impress her. He wouldn’t let me anywhere near her.

I asked her out 2 weeks ago, and she turned me down, because she already was talking to someone. I was really relieved when it wasn’t my friend, though, but now we aren’t talking too much anymore, I avoid him, and when we do, it’s stiff and artificial.

But now I’ve gotten over Courtney.

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I left love for a paycheck.

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i am often tempted to throw away everything i have worked for and the future planned for me to drop out of school and be an anarchist-hippie. i’m afraid of joining the rat race.

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i have felt like my best friend doesnt really want to be friends, and for a while has been quite dismisive and cold towards me, even last night when it was my birthday she was chatting away all night to all my friends but not to me… i felt really very sad and i told her last night that i didnt think we could be friends any more because it is too painful. she didnt understand and told my sister to take care of me. today i called her up and she didnt want to speak to me, but i called anywy and spoke to her fiance and then she picked up the phone and was really really angry and then shouted and cried and put the phone down on me. i feel awful about it, but somehow at the time it felt the right thing to say beause i felt so much pain. i dont know what will happen now. i am trying to be mindful of the present moment and just take each moment as it comes. but its hard to think positively when your feeling like shit. i guess time passes and what happens will happen, but it now seems like its all totally grown into something massive and horrid and even more painful than the situation was before. all i keep on thinking was i wish i could revert the time. but i know in my heart you cant, and sometimes you fuck up, and you have to deal with the consequences. friendship can be the most wonderful thing in the world, but it can also at time be so so painful when it breaks down. do we risk that horrid feeling for the good times? or do we keep things simple and more distant but less real?